When asked to describe a bully, most people describe them as "often bigger than other kids, have low self-esteem, often were bullied themselves, constantly carry a foul attitude". This stereotype is even the first offered up from school age children as well. However, if you dig a little more, and ask the right questions, you find that they describe bullying behavior coming from all types. Girls. Boys. Short. Tall. Overweight. Scrawny. Aggressive. Passive Agressive.
Actually, recent studies have shown that bullies are often confident to the point of arrogance. Sometimes engaging in the bullying behavior for amusement or to flex their social muscle and exert dominance. Sometimes the bullying is driven by more sinister attitudes, like racism, sexism, or other discriminations. It can be as simple as excluding someone out from activities because they aren't wearing the right brand of clothes.
The truth is, in order to put a stop to bullying, we have to stop working off of old ideas. Bullies are children. Our children. Sometimes the bully becomes the victim. Sometimes your nice, compassionate straight A student can have a day where they make wrong decisions and participate in bullying behavior. The lines aren't so clear cut. Children who chronically participate in bullying can have moments of compassion and understanding. Sometimes even the victims make wrong decisions that taunt or even encourage a bully so that they can receive some type of attention (negative attention can be better than none sometimes). We can't simply say that one child is a bully, and this one is not and then work off of those labels. Instead, we have to teach kids what bullying behavior is, how to break the pattern if they are engaging in it, and how to deal with it if they are a victim or a bystander.
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