Fast Forward 10 Years (thoughts on 9/11)

It was 9:00am when the teacher in the classroom next to mine burst in the door, "Turn the T.V. on - NOW!"  The confusion on my face must have been apparent.  "Just do it, there's been an accident". 

I turned on the T.V. to see an image that is forever burned into the minds of many people around the world.  I saw the top quarter of the North tower enveloped in black smoke.  At that time, nobody knew what was going on.  It appeared to have been an accident, and the reporters were struggling to describe what was happening as well.  My classroom was buzzing.  The kids in my class were talking to each other, asking questions, a couple of boys were even laughing.  I could only say "I don't know, a plane must have lost control". 

About a minute or so later (9:03), I watched the second plane fly into view, and promptly slam into the South tower.

In that second or two during and after, my mind had already processed what I had seen, ran through the logical possibilities of what was happening, and just that quickly...I remember quietly uttering, "we're being attacked".   

The kids got very quiet.  We all watched in horror as people began jumping out of the burning tower, to what they must have known was certain death.  Some of my more vocal students asked why they were jumping.  I replied, "because they would rather take the risk of dieing from the fall rather than stay and burn alive".  One boy, Matthew ____, laughed out loud, and said, "They'll just rebuild that building anyway".   At that moment, I wanted to squeeze his neck until his head popped off.  I gave him a very nasty look and said, "Matt, we are watching people die.  A lot of people die."   I didn't hear from him anymore that day.

I turned off the T.V. for awhile.  My planning period was coming up soon, and I knew that the kids had already seen too much for them to be able to process.  I think they went to their next class, P.E., at 9:27am. 

I turned the T.V. back on.

Over the next hour, we heard about the plane flying into the Pentagon, and then the report of a plane going down in Pennsylvania.  Soemwhere in there, I watched the towers collapse.  We were under full attack.  My thoughts turned inward, trying to do a quick mental scan of where all my family, friends, and relatives worked, and might any of them be in high risk area. 

Today, for the first time in years, I thought about the students in that class.  They would be about 21 years old now.  I wonder how they think of that day.  What do they remember about that time?  What do they remember about me, how I acted, what I said?  Did I show them too much?  Do they feel the same way I do now about that day?  I may never know. I can only hope that I run into one of them some day and have the courage to ask.

Maybe it will be Matt -that would be nice.  I owe him an apology.  I later realized that his laughing and uncaring remark was just a reaction to not being able to understand what he was seeing.  Nervousness, ignorance, and fear can manifest themselves in different ways.  Some people say seemingly stupid things, others stand frozen in thought...and some fly planes into buildings. 

Sorry Matt.


NEVER FORGET.    STAY VIGILANT.